I heard that a colleague of mine whose second daughter is 8 days younger than Chase said she was using the Sleep Lady's method. Like us, they hadn't had success with their baby sleeping through the night (which always made us both feel better), but they started having some luck with the Sleep Lady's method. Last Friday evening, I did some online research and identified these points:
- You, your spouse or partner, are going to start out seated by your child's crib or bed, where you can easily comfort and reassure her with your touch and words.
- Stay with your child until she goes to sleep or back to sleep completely at which point you may leave the room.
- Convey a sleepy-time message: Shh-shh or short soft singing is better then a full dialogue.
- You may pick your child up to calm her down but do not hold her until she's asleep.
- Whatever physical and verbal reassurance you offer do not do it constantly or it will become a new sleep crutch!
- Respond to all wakenings in the night and resume your position by the crib to comfort
Seems easy enough, and kind enough that I could handle it. Sleep Lady writes that this method is not cry-free because childhood is not cry-free. Makes sense and makes his crying bearable. We would be in the room with Chase, there to comfort him and help him learn how to fall back to sleep on his own. It was worth a try.
That night, as part of our nightly routine (bottle, bath, books, bottle, bed), Chase took a bottle until he was drowsy but not asleep. He squirmed until we put him in his crib, then got comfortable and went to sleep on his own after we patted his back a bit. We were out the next night, but able to do it again Sunday and Monday nights.
For a variety of reasons we did not start implementing this method during night wakings until Monday night. It was by chance- Chase had slept until 3 and seemed to be trying to get comfortable/back to sleep on his own so Stephen went in to try and comfort him back to sleep. He almost had him back down and put him in his crib, but he woke again and was crying. This went on for 1 1/2 hours. I stayed strong (but awake) and did not go into the room because I wanted Chase to learn to go back to sleep on his own. Plus I knew that if I went in, then the next night he'd keep crying until I went in again. But after 1 1/2 hours (now 4:30am), I went in. He was so happy to be in my arms. Poor Stephen. Chase had cried with him for 90 minutes, and stopped when I took him. He then leaned over and waved at Stephen (if this is any indication of his personality, then we are in trouble). We decided that getting him back to sleep without nursing would be a success at this point and so I rocked him down to sleep. 5am we got back to sleep.
The next night, he slept until 4am. Wow! I was impressed. Having gone to bed at 10, this was the first time in months I had gotten 6 hours of sleep uninterupted. This time I started with the rocking, got him back to sleep in his crib and went back to bed within 20 minutes. 3 minutes later he was crying and even more upset. I tried again and then Stephen took over the comforting and rocking back to sleep. At 5:30, he went down and we finally got back to sleep.
Wednesday night, Chase slept straight until 4:50am. I rocked him and put him back in his crib at 5:11. He woke up at 5:18. This repeated again, and Stephen tried and got him down at 5:45- when we usually get up for the day. Chase slept until 7:15 (and I slept until 7!)
Thursday night, Chase slept straight until....6:15am!!!!
You'll notice that I said we rocked him- not nearly what the Sleep Lady said, but we took some principles from her. We've started sssssshing him as we put him down (combined with the sound of the ocean from his Sleep Sheep, which is similar). We rocked him until he squirmed or seemed very drowsy, put him down and patted his back. We were lucky that we were able to go cold turkey on him nursing at night (perhaps because he was so tired the first night) and that he's okay with me rocking him down without nursing. In order to help that, we've stopped sitting down on the daybed in that room to rock him back to sleep- the place I used to nurse him at night- instead we stand and rock him. Hopefully this is conveying to him that he's not going to be nursed, but needs to go back to sleep. When we do put him down, we pat his back a bit and continue the sssshhhing until we're pretty sure he's asleep. We've been giving him his Tom Cat stuffed animal to hold at night and it seems like he is finally getting some kind of attachment to it (our nanny has also been at our house this week so he's been napping with it, which may have helped).
Overall, though, there was no magic bullet. It was a couple of terrible nights and drowsy days. I would say we loosely followed the Sleep Lady's method. I've read that there is a change in sleep patterns around 9-10 months, so he was probably ready to sleep through the night, but needed the push to do so.
We're hoping not to jinx ourselves, but with the pattern of sleeping later and later, this should not be a fluke. Then again, we are realistic. We don't expect him to sleep through the night every night. There will be times that are worse- like when he's teething (always!) or has a cold. But we have some things we can do now that seem to help him get himself back to sleep.
Friday night he woke up at 12:30 and 2:30 and I went in without giving him a chance to settle himself. He slept until 5:30 and then we finally got him back to sleep at 6:30 and he slept until 8. Last night he slept straight from 8 (he was unsettled around 9:30) until 5:30, nursed and went back to sleep until 7:45.
Best. Birthday. Present. Ever.
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